I am a certified personal life and happiness coach. This is my DREAM job, ok? Rather than taking the year and a half it SHOULD have taken me to obtain and pass my certification testing, I spent EVERY WAKING MOMENT that my kids were at school to work diligently at getting my education and understanding so that I could help others create, and have, the life of their dreams as quickly as humanly possible. With me at their side, they were ASSURED to get there!
For the past 3 years I have done very little coaching. I became ill in 2011 and have been fighting for my life ever since. My focus has been on many things, coaching not being one of them. Self pity? Yes. The unfairness of life? Yes. Anger? Yes.
For the last 3 years; after 67 emergency room visits, 17 hospitalizations - with 3 of them beginning in the Intensive Care Unit on a by-pap machine that had to breathe FOR me because I was unable to breathe on my own, I began to ask the questions of my own body that I would have asked of any of my clients; why am I not able to heal? Our bodies make BILLIONS of new cells every day. We re-grow an ENTIRELY new body every 7 years or so...so why is MY body keeping me sick? I began to read...no, DEVOUR, any book I could find on new biology and new science and the documentation and proof of self-healing. I've fallen in love with Bruce Lipton and his fabulous mind, with Lissa Rankin and her knowledge and acceptance of the modern medical community to treat the dis-eases themselves and only treat the symptoms. I have opened my mind, body and soul to WANTING healing to happen within me but without success. Granted, oftentimes there'd be WEEKS of PERFECT health - no rescue inhalers, no nebulizer/Albuterol breathing treatments and no steroids...only to wake up in the middle of the night to, yet again, grasping for air.
Now, as a life and happiness coach, one of the most important things that I teach my clients is that your thoughts create your life; change your attitude to one of gratitude and it creates miracles in your life, almost IMMEDIATELY. Wanting to practice what I preach, I tried to focus on ANYTHING positive in each situation; maybe it was a hot, young doctor in the ER, or a handsome nurse or paramedic - but I ALWAYS looked for SOMETHING. Well, after 3 years, it gets difficult, to say the least, to find SOMETHING positive in a recurring situation. After trying craniosacral therapy and acupuncture, I was starting to feel desperate. Having no insurance and being unable to work because of my illness makes affordability a HUGE deal to me. I LOVED acupuncture but, with a daughter graduating from high school and another in middle school, priorities get blurred. It became more important to feed the kids than to attend my next acupuncture appointment.
My last hospitalization ended just 3 days ago. While in the hospital THIS time, I became REALLY anxious and aware of the fact that the doctors aren't even interested in testing me to see WHY I'm ill - they're only interested in 'managing' my symptoms. Two doctors have now told me to 'accept the diagnosis and learn to live with it." - something that I was UNWILLING to do. Desperate and depressed, I reached out to an angel...my friend Jacqueline. I asked her if she knew of ANYONE that did energy healing or readings to see WHY my body is not being allowed to heal like I KNOW it SHOULD....this turned out to be one of THE best decisions that I have EVER made. Jacqueline introduced me to another Earth Angel named Jolisa. We spoke briefly on the phone and made our first appointment so that she would come by the day after I returned home from the hospital.
Not sure what to expect, I was excited. Hopeful. Anticipating answers. What I got was nothing NEAR what I had expected to learn - especially about myself. YEARS of turmoil, choices, feelings, pain and misunderstanding came to an end during that first meeting. I'm a life coach. I HAVE knowledge. I am AWARE of how our lives unfold based upon what we 'put out' there. This stuff I KNOW, right? Well, this amazing woman, in a matter of two hours, not only blew my mind but enlightened me to things in myself that I wasn't even AWARE of. Things that I thought I had brought to the surface and handled were NOT. The proverbial walls that I had built as a child to protect myself from abuse had thought to be torn down...but they were NOT. I was hiding behind them without even realizing it. Learning about old, subconscious patterns and learning of my OWN failure to assess 'gut reactions' has what's kept me sick all this time! I'm STILL trying to wrap my head around all that I learned in those 2 hours. I wish I had recorded it or taken notes...my head spins just THINKING about it!
I feel like, at the age of 47, my life is JUST NOW beginning! I'm in the process of setting myself free of all of those unconscious patterns and habits that have kept me trapped and blaming 'them' for my discomfort, or feelings of insignificance, or unworthiness.....I never, EVER would have believed you, if you had told me before Friday, that I react to my husband the VERY SAME WAY I reacted to my father as a child...NEVER. Now, I can tell you, I SEE it! I SEE how I hid behind, not only my illness, but also other 'traumatic' things in my life so that I could FEEL something....not any more.
I'm on my path to healing. There will be some huge changes coming up for me and those around me - some may not be very comfortable for others but they will have to learn to deal with THEIR feelings as I'm learning to do now. I have always told myself that I am worthy - of love, of attention, of live and happiness; however, now I BELIEVE it, from the bottom of my soul....and anyone that doesn't see me with that value won't be around to devalue me any more. I'm excited to delve deep into this new and exciting chapter of my life and then to be able to pass the knowledge and love on to my clients in the future.
This, ladies and gentlemen, has been the re-education of a life coach. Love and light to you all.
